God has a purpose right?

Throughout the holiday season, I see in so many ways I am blessed. Family, a few close friends, a roof over my head, food, god, and I can smile. One of my favorite things to do near the holiday season, is go around and smile as much as possible, when I see a person, sad, angry, upset I try my hardest as a stranger to make them realize hey don't be, I smile at them, sometimes say hello, and once in a while I have small talk. Its kind of like a personal goal everyday to make someone happy. I think its a little easier for me to do it, I always have people looking at me for my crazy curly big hair or my birthmark on my cheek right under my right eye about the size of a half dollar, its deep red, but not raised.  So I decided not to make any resolutions this year, but make one goal or promise to myself: be happy!  This entitles many things but here is a few that I wrote down: I will be who I am, I will not change for others, when I am sad or lost I will pray, when I am bored I will read, when I feel alone I will push myself to go out and not regress, I will finish school, I will get through a surgery or two, I will not worry about my health but take it as it comes and try to only focus on whats happening now, I will realize that having children may not be my goal in life but god has another choice for me... to adopt, I will stay organized, I will make others happy if it doesn't hurt me, I will just wait for a nice man or women to be with and not want to try to make something happen, I will be calm, I will try not to cry (as hard as it is with pain , emotions, crappy hormones, and love), and last but not least I will  live everyday thinking and realizing that life  is a blessing and an honor. If anyone ever reads this  write something, but if you don't i write this as it helps me organize my thoughts and i feel a little relieved . Happy New Year!

Infections, OSU, and PT

So I have some infections great news, more antibiotics and anti fungal, this stuff never ends. I am 23 and I take 10 pills everyday that's insane and that doesn't include my pain killers. I did go to a meet up group though and found some things out about PT and IC and I am going tomorrow. I hope all goes well. I am getting sad my ex is leaving for work soon for about 3 months and it sounds silly but hes my best friend and has been with me during this whole flare up. I am sick of taking estrogen, and a whole bunch of others. Well its late, and I have a big day tomorrow!

Intersititial Cystitis

My life for a month now has been laying in bed, doctor appointment after the next to get treatments.My LIFE... I miss it, I want to work and be back at school, I was so close to finishing. I am in pain all the time, I feel like my pelvic is on fire and getting stabbed and my back is bruised and getting squished. I am 23 I don't want this disease there needs to be a cure, but there isn't. I cant even use the main medicine for it because it didn't work and just gave me migraines and nausea for 9 months. On top of this its making my periods irregular and I am in more pain from that. I know others are out there. I have one friend who is much worse off then me with bleeding and no control at the same age. Please people become aware. I want to not feel pain, and pee all the time uncontrollably. I did figure out that I want to help people with diseases that need regulated diets. I am devoting my life to helping others learn to eat what they need to for their problems. I will teach them to cook, shop, garden and plan based on what they can handle.  So this led to my perfect goal in life and I get to help others my second love in life. I have lots of family and friends praying for me, and I do all day long, sorry I hog God just a little bit, but I need him. I used to worry wow does this guy like me, will I get married by 25, and have 5 children and be a housewife and working mom. Now I am not even sure I can have children (truthfully I am very scared and worried that at 23/24 I am faced with the idea of having to freeze my eggs). Now I have no one to hold me and say its going to be ok at night. I have grown courage and  became dependent on myself after a bad boyfriend wouldn't take me to the hospital when I needed.  So me like always trying to find the positive in everything is working my way to a better life, depending on myself and a little support from my family(which I would not trade for the world).  I am hoping from blogging about my IC I can meet others who have it and maybe  start getting others to know so it doesn't take 10 years of misdiagnosis  and pain for it finally coming to a breaking point in pain and life to get diagnosed and realized. Thanks- Nicolette

I am virgin to blogging so be patient! AKA First Blog Ever

So today I woke up thinking I  have a new life ahead of me and it starts in less than 6 days. I will have a new job, a new home ( I hope soon, looking desperately), new friends, new relationship, new challenges, and new daily goals I am setting for myself.  Goals: go to the gym every other day, eat healthier, loose weight, learn one worldly fact, and a chapter in a book, and take 15 minutes of me time a day. So here is me, right now I am visiting relatives on the Jersey Shore (where I grew up and where I was terribly burnt two days ago but I can finally sit  down now),  I am on a hunt for a place to live, my roommate and I are not compatible and she wants to go home after saying she would stay till the fall with me there. But its for the best. Do not beat me up on grammar I never did well in English class. I am a pretty simple person I think- I own a fat cat, I am starting culinary school in two weeks, I got a new job,  I love reading, I love cooking, I love wine, the beach, swimming,   walking in the rain, dancing when no one is looking, movies,  and well  everything I guess. I do not get angry, I am easy going, and sometimes last minute/ procrastinator.  So this is a mission, well blogging is. Seeing if I can keep up with it. Plus I want to figure out how it works.